I am a fart, we are all farts. when someone farts another fart is born. 

See, after my daily beat off I realized that in the grand scheme of things, we really dont understand what everything is, like if the universe was a machine we would not know all the parts that make up the mahcines. 

Lets say the machine of the universe was a dildo machine, one that your grandma would give to you on your birthday. So this dildo machine is used and you are happy, "Yay grandma, now I wont feel so alone anymore" But the things is that you are alone. Your grandma is already dead because...well....grandmas die. Anyways, the machine is used twice because you are a spoiled slut and need the bigger models to get your jiggy on. But you dont know what all the models are made out of. You know there are gears, wires, orphans that are used to power the unholy contraption, but you dont know every detail of it. All you know is that it uses spunk magic to give you that thrill that only daddy gave you before he drank himself to death.

But the main issue I want to cover is that we just dont know. I mean we could know, but we are too busy spanking it that we cant complete a thought without thinking of giving ourselves a fine how do you do to get the day going.

The mods and their little poo stains have banned me because I made a valid opinion on a stupid thread. Their little poo stains cry and cry "Oh penis-plant, we cant have real opinions on our site, you need to do as everyone else" But nooooooooooo, the poo stains got to have it their way. But I say Nay! I shall be back in due time, after some poo time

"ERROR — You have been temporarily banned from posting to the BBS for 7 days. You have 6 days, 8 hours, 50 minutes and 27 seconds left until your ban is lifted. Do not attempt to create a secondary account to get around this ban. If we find evidence of you doing so all of your accounts will be terminated. Reason for ban: Posting "Dimebag was an emo piece of shit" in a thread HONORING him on the anniversary of his death. Take your bad attitude somewhere else for a while."

Ohhhh, look at that poo, look at it. Such poo, such great big poo. Yeah, Dimebag was an emo piece of shit, I said it, and I say it again. Poo Poo on you you.

Well I have 6 days,  8 hours, 50 minutes, and 27 seconds till I come back. Then we will see who the poo really belongs to! ME! thats who! I am the poo! I eat the poo! I live for the poo!

I dream of wade fulp in a walrus costume because he is hot!

Yesterday my goat friend borrowed some sugar and farted on my cheese danish capri sun. I shot my load of potato skins at him and he decided it was time to fire the bell and corn cob. 

When I was a child I lived in a rented two-floor house. Both my parents worked so I was often alone when I came home from school.
One early evening when I came home the house was still dark.

I called out, “Mum?” and heard a voice say “Yeeeeees?” from upstairs.

I called my mum again, and again got the same “Yeeeeees?” reply.

I felt she was calling back at me and climbed up the stairs.

When I reached the first floor I called her once more and the voice “Yeeeeees?” came from the furthest room.

I felt both uneasy, but felt a strong urge to see my mother, and started to walk towards the room.

But just as I was about to open the door into the room I heard the front door downstairs open and my mother come in, carrying a lot of shopping bags.

“Sweetie, are you home?” my mother called in a cheery voice.

Hearing her voice made me feel instantly better and I turned back to go downstairs at once… but not before I had a quick glance towards the room. I opened the door....get on the floor...everyone walk the dinosaur.

But I ate it. Sorry.

More fucks, shits, damns, cunts... you get the point: more curse bombs. Much discussions on sex, alcohol, and drugs as well.

Thank you.

ANY COMMENTS WITH CURSE BOMBS OR SEX/DRUG/ALCOHOL RELATED DISCUSSIONS WILL BE PRAISED

(I will report you all for the following: not swearing and lack of harassment of another via a public website application. I can't track down your ISP (but pretend I can) and you will be arrested by sexy female strippers in cop cloths and take you to the naughty prison. )

I pleadge all legions to the fag of the united steaks of america
And to the rectal-plug-ic, for which I stand
One station, under dog, invisible
With puberty and just us for all

It is time for a new story. I will make this story here and now. By the time you read this, it will already be done, so naaah!
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iiiiiiiiiiiiiiii
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In the great land of romanda there lived a bird. It was a lovely bird. It had gracefull wings and would sing in the morning. Its song was like heaven.
Then it choked on a worm and died.

But this story isnt about that bird, whose corps is being eaten by ants. This story is about a guy. A guy named..............um............
: hey, who is this guys name again?
: Bill
:what?
: his name is Bill!

Ah, so this guy's name is Dill and-
: It's Bill, not Dill!

Ok, so this guy's name is Jill.....why would a guy be named Jill?
: That's it! I quit! Fuck you! I have had it!

Um.........Lets just call this guy's name Rick.
Anyways, Rick lived in a nice home. But one day a man came to his door and sang him a song.
"You!...I wana take you to a gaybar! I wana take you to a gaybar! I wana take you to a gaybar, gaybar, gaybar!"

The man then choked on a worm and died......(cock joke)

The man went outside and looked at the world.
"Hello world!"
"SHUT THE FUCK UP! CANT YOU SEE IM BANGING MARS!"

The sun was out, and it was bright. I mean so bright that it could ace a hard test in a minute! (bom bom ping!)

The man walked and walked until he reached a river, and there at the bank was a beautiful woman.....robbing the bank. (bom bom ping!)

No really, she was robbing the bank! (bom bom ping!)

Someone kill that monkey at the drums...................*BANG!*

Well the woman was robbing the bank.................ah, no sound- (HIYO!!)
OH FUCK!!!!!

she was robbing the bank and then i killed the director! *BANG!*
You got anything to say about that mister hiyo?
(no sir.....)
Good! Now lets get back.

She was robbing the bank, so the man did the only thing he thought he could do. He ran to her and raped her.
What? Thinking of something else? I know it has been used a lot before, but man, she was HOT!

Well the bank was happy, the man was happy...even the woman was happy.

And and everyone lived happily ever after.....that is until the rapture comes and kills everyone because god hates humans.

The End!

see, once apon a time there was this one guy who couldnt seem to eat his breakfast. he could eat lunch, dinner, and dessert, yet he couldnt eat breakfast. no matter how hard he tired the food wouldnt go into him.

so one day he set out on a journey to see someone who could help.
"where are you going steve?" said his wife who had been unsatisfided the prior night.
"Jill, i have had it! It has been too long since i have not been able to eat breakfast. Im sorry honey but i must find someone who can help me. i might be gone a long time so continue on with your life without me"

at that moment he left his wife of three years forever. he knew it would be hard but he had to eat breakfast again. it was the most important meal of the day, lunch and dinner were just add on's it.

steve had stayed in a beat up hotel that night. there were cockroaches and flies all over. he had to get some sleep though, he had a long journy ahead of him.

morning came and he tired to eat some pancakes, yet whenever he sank his fork into those fluffy circles of yum goodness and moved it to his mouth it wouldnt go in. it was as if there was a force feild on his mouth in the mornings. he drove off starvig hoping lunch would come soon so he could eat something.

he drove for hours and hours till it was near lunch time. stopping at a resturaunt near a gas station, he filled up his car and went to get some food.
the place was empty except for the workers and a in the corner with a big scar on his face.
the waitress sat steve in the booth next to the man.

"so, what brings you to this hell hole?" said the man.
"i havent had breakfast and im starving. i can never seem to eat breakfast." said steve as he looked through the menu.
"why not get up early? thats what i do."
steve explained his situation and the man had a look like he was suprised but knew what he was talking about.

"so the curse still exists"
"what curse? do you know something?"
steve forgot about ordering now, he wanted to know what this man knew.
"you have a curse passed down every generation in your family. it all began long ago................thousands of years ago....into the future!...........a a ...a .aaaaaa.a..aaaa.aa.a.a

"MEATWAD! you broke the tv again! thank you very much. now frylock will have to buy another one!"
"hey i didnt break it, your the one that threw me at it."
"why is the tv broken?"
"frylock, meatwad broke it. if he had doged it would still be working."
"did you throw meatwad into the tv again?"
"he said he was the one, the one can dodge bullets, so i would think that he could doge tvs too, so its his fault!"
"i never said i was the one, i said i wanted one, as in one bag of chips."
"wanted one bag of chips, i am the one...they both sound the same so its still your fault"
........
..............
....................
(channel changed)
"today on mythbusters....."
(change channel)
"my name is criss angel...."
(change channel)
"welcome to x-play..."
(change channel)
"beeeeeeeeeeeeep!...."
(turn tv off)

THE END!